tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60187009611805339682012-02-16T12:40:50.935+02:00Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.comBlogger401100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-3375287175653781902009-10-14T21:40:00.001+02:002009-10-14T21:40:33.067+02:00

The Last Call

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-35676764184953127142009-09-30T13:48:00.004+02:002009-09-30T13:58:55.883+02:00

Writing for a newspaper in Johannesburg you digest many weird crime stories. After a while, you think you've seen it all - kids with Samurai swords, mining tycoons full of bullets, serial killers, etc.But this story (post below) had me grinning with glee as I typed it up yesterday morning. I'd love to hear your comments on it. If you can't open it, click here. My favourite is the detective saying

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-16959134585037101432009-09-30T13:46:00.000+02:002009-09-30T13:47:12.502+02:00

Murder Plot

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-46835355452706613262009-09-29T07:40:00.005+02:002009-09-29T07:57:53.786+02:00

My closest brush with Hollywood was when a major US film studio called me up to explore turning a story I was covering into a movie. That was a few years ago and, so far, I have not received any invitations to to the land of palm trees, beaches and beautiful Rollerblade girls.But today I discovered my second - if somewhat more indirect - link to Los Angeles. Their local, and much respected

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-59362335349186646082009-09-27T11:44:00.006+02:002009-09-27T12:16:16.022+02:00

There are a lot of tall people in Johannesburg. And last night, I'm convinced, a good number of them conspired to gather in row "i" of Monte Casino's grand theatre.I know this because I sat in row "j" of the same theatre, attending the glittering opening night of the Cats musical and shifting from butt cheek to butt cheek trying to see the stage.I'm not sure why tall people would want to hold a

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-17353132057926246362009-09-09T12:35:00.006+02:002009-09-09T12:59:01.852+02:00

News just in: Winston the pigeon has just won a race to deliver 4GB of data - beating a painfully slow download on a Telkom line.Winston, an 11-month-old bird, set out from Howick to Hillcrest (both in Kwazulu-Natal) with a memory stick containing 4GB of data. At the same time, the company organizing the race began downloading 4GB of information on an ADSL Telkom line.When our feathery friend

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-2386348207201892852009-09-08T15:33:00.007+02:002009-09-08T16:09:55.402+02:00

Before I start, let the record show that I despise reality television. I think Big Brother was the first symptom of a terminal disease that threatens to kill global intellect. But if I were to flush my morals down the drain, and produce a reality show, I know exactly what it would be...This morning I read a fascinating article in the LA Times about a group of Buddhists planning to live in the

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-20652855396240208332009-08-20T09:16:00.007+02:002009-08-20T09:39:30.858+02:00

Four crazy Canadians have used complex mathematical equations (real Beautiful Mind stuff) to calculate just how screwed the world would be if an outbreak of the undead occurred.Simpler put, how quickly would an army of zombies munch their way through the entire human population?The equations look like that cheesy cyberspace screen from the movie Hackers, where a whole bunch of figures and "@"

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-59204000000902235462009-08-20T08:37:00.000+02:002009-08-20T08:38:33.595+02:00

police scandal

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-82862213055873723392009-08-06T08:11:00.000+02:002009-08-06T08:12:49.783+02:00

8 Winters

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-28296740351031236962009-08-05T10:09:00.006+02:002009-08-05T20:49:09.026+02:00

I was driving to cover a court case in Germiston this morning when I spotted a dead man lying in a flowerbed next to the M2 highway.There were a few police vans around the body but nobody had put that tinfoil stuff over it to prevent motorists from seeing his pale stomach and rigid neck.The photographer I was with pulled the car over (cnr M2 and Refinery Road) and we went to investigate - like

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-46974102737643579942009-08-02T12:17:00.004+02:002009-08-02T13:08:04.111+02:00

When I was a kid, and watched ninja movies, I usually raided my mother's kitchen for jam tin tops to transform into ninja stars, which I flung (with great enthusiasm) at cardboard boxes. Later in life, when I watched movies with car chases, I couldn't help drive a little faster. So it was of little surprise that after reading way too much about the fabulous Drum magazine era, I got inspired to

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-36396483736602904982009-07-31T08:58:00.007+02:002009-07-31T09:35:21.798+02:00

Yesterday, I boldly announced that the flu had released me. I spent the day covering a court case in Alexandra, hunting for a semi-decent restaurant in Germiston CBD (which, believe me, is not as easy as it sounds), sitting in the public gallery of a long council meeting and finishing the day at the Civic Theatre, sniffling my way through the Cheap Show.This morning I am in bed, swimming in a

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-40086563850327021752009-07-28T17:29:00.007+02:002009-07-28T18:05:03.951+02:00

Life is a never-ending lesson. Early on, we learn not to run into busy roads and are taught that heroin is not a sustainable hobby. Later we feel our way through love, sex, heartbreak and, ultimately, death. But at what point do we learn that just because a movie touches that special place in your soul - as movies do - doesn't mean you should tattoo its name (along with the names of the two lead

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-26203773678199530442009-07-24T10:30:00.006+02:002009-07-24T10:47:15.774+02:00

Here he is. The culprit. The nemesis. The pigeon that keeps setting off the sensors on my balcony at 6 or 7am every Sunday morning.Look closely at him. Or her. Perhaps you have seen this evil beak before. Those slimy feathers. Those cunning little eyes.With this footage I can start investigating. Has this bird of doom been sent to haunt us by our neighbours as punishment for letting our plant

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-35269891479992636322009-07-23T09:35:00.009+02:002009-07-24T09:47:05.707+02:00

Well, I finally know what a true dilemma feels like: the university professor who holds the key to a BA degree you've slaved away at for two years insults your newspaper and calls its legendary Sauer Street offices a "squatter camp".Talk about being caught in the middle.Somewhere in my subconscious is buried a very vivid memory of traveling past 47 Sauer Street as a child and looking up at "The

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-56840998754442687922009-07-21T18:20:00.006+02:002009-07-21T18:43:40.472+02:00

I spent today running around the Tokoza township, covering a violent service delivery protest.It was a rush to be back in the thick of things after the two weeks we spent reporting on the xenophobic mayhem last year.It was also a poignant assignment because Tokoza was where Ken Oosterbroek (the Bang Bang club) was slain in the 1990s and Khumalo Street (where we were today) was where a lot of our

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-7091969416192062372009-07-20T19:48:00.009+02:002009-07-20T21:42:01.303+02:00

In the end, we went with "Top 10 Excuses". We had to, we're a family newspaper. But if I had my way, I would have called them the: "What the hell were you thinking Awards"... or something a little punchier: "The McBride Awards", "for the policeman who really, really shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car".But let me start at the beginning...Sunday shifts are tedious. All your friends are

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-7697894681294612482009-07-18T18:41:00.009+02:002009-07-20T08:08:41.670+02:00

We were having breakfast at this little bistro under the escalators at Cresta when my friend Kenneth asked us whether we knew where the Fourways Memorial Park is. His grandmother (96) died recently and the funeral is due to take place on Monday."That's strange, I've also got a funeral there on Monday," my girlfriend said, rather surprised.The father of one of her best friends died recently after

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-3431562366958824502009-07-16T21:14:00.008+02:002009-07-16T21:56:25.937+02:00

Like an army of cyberspace Zorros - without the Antonio Banderas accent or cheesy one-liners - you have come to my rescue. Thank you. An Unquiet Day is now the proud home of 55 members. I'm not sure how I can repay you, but if you have any questions about the media world or story ideas, I will be glad to try and help.Oh, I know. Perhaps I should share out the 1 316 463, 00 UK Pounds I won today.

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-83505452079817619512009-07-15T17:03:00.013+02:002009-07-16T07:53:46.589+02:00

Since there was no mad rush for the 50th membership spot on this blog I am resorting to bribery. Whoever puts me out of my misery (of watching and waiting) will receive a free Mercedes-Benz ML 63 AMG (kindly sponsored by the Gauteng Department of Agriculture and Rural Development) and five bottles of Johnnie Walker Blue Label.*I had a rather unusual morning yesterday. I spent it painting the

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-59027130811281822342009-07-13T21:59:00.009+02:002009-07-13T22:54:22.322+02:00

I thought today was going to be the day. Now and again, I peeked at my blog hoping to find that some kind person out there had become the 50th member of An Unquiet Day. But as I prepare to call it in for the day, the count stands frozen at 49.Don't get me wrong, 49 is fantastic. For a blog that was started just several weeks ago, I'm excited to have an opportunity to interact with this many

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-66688607039815868492009-07-12T11:40:00.004+02:002009-07-12T12:20:43.005+02:00

In a bid to protect the humming air-conditioner fans outside the window at my office, the men in blue (overalls) created a death-trap for pigeons. The chicken wire they wrapped the fans in allowed the birds to sneak through onto the ledge, but made it impossible to escape. After the slow death of two pigeons, I took matters into my own hands.With some effort, I managed to pull open the wire and

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-51298347098357131922009-07-10T11:53:00.007+02:002009-07-10T12:42:08.051+02:00

To avoid paying me R4 600, Discovery Health convened a "dispute hearing" last night for which they hired a 3-member panel of medical experts to, basically, tell me to go to hell. The hearing, which included the panel, snacks, coffee, two Discovery legal and medical experts (to fight off my claim), a friendly convener and even an intern which came to listen, must have cost them a fortune. At the

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-9235816875926335252009-07-08T17:02:00.012+02:002009-07-09T08:46:17.586+02:00

"Sibongile Mnisi was sitting in front of her house, eating pap and meat. Then a goat came out of the bush... Some who were there say the crazy creature charged up to Sibongile - and plunged its horns into her chest! Screaming children threw rocks at the horned terror and it ran off... but it was much too late for Sibongile."Yes, this is from the latest Daily Sun. Yes, I promise I won't make this

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-35240219674127077282009-07-07T17:00:00.004+02:002009-07-07T17:20:36.264+02:00

I have always been an evangelical defender of the broadsheet newspaper and all that is sacred about dignified, well-researched and informative news. But sometimes I can’t help falling in love with a story in the tabloid Daily Sun. This is why:“A co-driver of a giant 20-wheeler (truck) found a magosha (prostitute) at a truck stop on a cold, bitter night. The two had sex on a blanket underneath the

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-14615365285390191012009-07-07T16:47:00.003+02:002009-07-09T17:05:06.572+02:00

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-35678666686353269572009-07-06T17:01:00.011+02:002009-07-09T17:05:28.170+02:00

This one goes out to Marshall Bravestarr and his talking, shooting, half-robotic, 100% ass-kicking horse called Thirty/Thirty. I was thinking about you guys today, as I sat through a fancy but frustrating launch of the new crime busting unit: the Hawks.Background: the Scorpions were launched in 1999 to crack the big cases. They went after the big guns, got caught up in too much politics and died

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-71421738184357657502009-07-04T11:21:00.017+02:002009-07-09T17:04:50.739+02:00

The CD had been in my car since May. Since the day I decided, very suddenly, that I hated all my car music and needed a fresh collection. So I burned a stack of new CDs - including Desmond and The Tutus.This week I started listening to them and discovered the beauty of absolute randomness. One song is about a girl named Peter, another about a crazy rebel, a soggy bottom Speedo swimmer and a high

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-41964913016475493362009-07-03T07:53:00.011+02:002009-07-09T17:04:31.935+02:00

I have made one small step towards the truth about the Nasa moon landing debate. Here is the outcome of a media enquiry I sent to Nasa to try and answer the question: "New footage of the 1969 moon landing discovered - fact or crap?"After posting the Nasa piece on Tuesday (see below), I received a few reader comments. One of which was a link to a blog claiming the whole thing was a hoax. So, in

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-45315751578795977382009-07-02T07:17:00.006+02:002009-07-09T17:04:11.038+02:00

Returning to work yesterday, after two weeks of study leave and full-time classes, was like walking onto a railway line and getting smacked by a speeding train. Within minutes, I was fighting with the Department of Health, begging the police to provide information, shouting at our IT guys for more bandwidth, calling off-the-record sources, getting comment from controversial lawyers and trying to

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-59307261813649090712009-06-30T14:18:00.012+02:002009-07-09T17:03:49.366+02:00

A few days ago my girlfriend and I made a small, but highly entertaining discovery at one of our favourite little restaurants in Linden.Waiting for our order, we decided to play one of the old board games stacked up on a bookshelf near the till. I reached into the dusty pile and yanked out a small box with "Fact or Crap" written on the faded cardboard. No mystery about how the game works: you

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-9994710356244547982009-06-30T07:49:00.009+02:002009-07-09T17:03:23.851+02:00

A week has passed since I launched An Unquiet Day and the time has come for some introspection. Normally, when I allow my mind to turn inwards I sink into the quick sands of melancholy, play out-of-character music and write short stories that frighten me a few days later. But this, I'm sure, will be nothing like that.What have I learned since diving into the blogosphere?a. It's a lot more

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-43953913812145238402009-06-28T10:08:00.010+02:002009-07-09T17:02:56.622+02:00

You can be too rich, as our capitalist world often proves. You can be too thin, like Christian Bale in Machinist. But you can never have too many tattoos! Look at those people hanging around tattoo shops, the way they roll up their sleeves and just seem to have an infinite amount of tattoos in a limited space. I've met a guy with a full body suit – head to toes – who's been working on it for 22

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-80613824311119274792009-06-25T09:41:00.012+02:002009-07-09T17:02:32.965+02:00

A surprise “I suck” confession by the chair of the SABC board has sparked a global rush as politicians and pop stars race to follow suit.“I do agree, I suck as a leader…” Kanyisiwe Mkonza boldly declared at a hearing on Tuesday. (Yes, really.)Her words thundered across the nation and inspired others – mostly civil servants – to admit what the public has known since… well, forever. With the

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-21398884720699099462009-06-24T08:19:00.031+02:002009-07-09T17:02:03.680+02:00

There are a lot of things on my mind: Japan considering doing away with cash currency; the looming remake of Conan the Barbarian (which, you'll agree, is a matter of global concern); the Natural Born Killers soundtrack I've rediscovered after more than a decade; the brilliant Scientology expose series I finished reading last night (see previous post); the 27 kind people (so far) who have joined

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-22824506027627161882009-06-23T07:04:00.014+02:002009-07-09T17:01:29.649+02:00

Who could ever forget Tom Cruise jumping around Oprah's couch like the king of the apes, preaching scientology. Or all the South Park episodes devoted to exposing the funny side of a cult (please hold off the hate mail, death threats and Jihads) that's spreading across the globe. But there is a very serious side to the effects of scientology. In France, there is currently a court case underway to

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-61307116229072851782009-06-22T09:36:00.013+02:002009-07-09T17:00:42.131+02:00

It’s not quite Pablo Picasso at the Hermitage State Museum, but this masterpiece caught my eye this weekend as I stood in a toilet cubicle at the Wits theatre. I was attending the annual production of the Johannesburg Youth Ballet (my best friend’s sister being one of the organizers) and could not resist taking a photo of our president dancing his heart out next to a roll of toilet paper, which

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-15776226346248889782009-06-21T13:07:00.006+02:002009-07-09T16:59:57.556+02:00

There’s a strange question on my mind: why did Joel Santana ditch his translator? Is it the recession? Have things got so bad that from his monthly R1.8-million salary he could no longer afford to dish out a few bucks for her? Did they have a fall out? Or did someone at the training camp pub tell the Bafana Bafana coach a tragic lie about his abilities to speak English? This is a strange question

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6018700961180533968.post-63737303671679345502009-06-19T09:16:00.014+02:002009-07-09T16:59:19.273+02:00

You’re inside a silver rocket that has just landed on the surface of Mars. With a hydraulic huff, and a hiss of smoke, the door pops open and a narrow ladder flops down like a stiff tongue. You step out, looking at the desert landscape and sucking in the thin air. The dark nothingness, pierced by an eternity of sparkling stars, hangs above you as you prepare to step onto the alien soil. Your

Alex Eliseevhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18181452958586649949noreply@blogger.com5